The Most Vulgar Pick Up lines On The Internet
I’m an astronaut. My next mission is exploring Uranus.
Screw me if I’m wrong, but haven’t we met before?
I’m really not a D in real life, but I can play one in you tonight.
I know a really great way to burn off the calories in that drink.
Why don’t you get on your knees and smile like a donut?
How do you like your eggs? Scrambled, poached or fertilized?
You have a great set of legs. What time do they open?
There’s a party at your ankles. Should we invite your pants to come on down?
If you jingle my bells, I can promise you a white Christmas.
Remember my name. You’ll be screaming it later.
That dress is very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I would be becoming too.
Do you like jigsaw puzzles? Let’s go to my room and put our pieces together.
“Excuse me, but does my tongue taste funny to you?
I may not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you.
I’m just like a Rubik’s cube. The more you play with me, the harder I get.
Do you, by any chance, have any Italian in you? Would you like some?
Let’s play carpenter. Let’s get hammered first, and then I’ll nail you.
Let’s play strip poker. You strip, and I’ll poke you.
You’ve been very naughty. Go to my room!
I’m peanut butter and you’re jelly. Let’s have sex.
Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass!”
“Do you want to have good sex? [No!] Well then come to my place!”
“Do you live on a chicken farm? ‘Cause you sure know how to raise a cock.”
“If I flip a coin, what are the chances of me getting head?”
“Wanna Job? It Blows!”
“I could’ve called heaven and asked for an angel, but I was hoping you’re a slut instead!”
“Hi, I’m a burglar… and I’m gonna smash your back door in!”
“You look familiar, have we had sex before?”
“Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?”
“I would tell you a joke about my p*nis….buts its too long :)”
“We should totally meet up for a pizza and f*ck. (!) What, you don’t like pizza?”
“Baby, I’m like a firefighter, I find ’em hot and leave ’em wet!”
“Baby your bone structure is giving my “bone” structure.”
“You know what I really like in a girl? My dick”
“My cat’s dead, can I play with your pussy instead?”
“You remind me of my cousin. (How?) I want to fuck you so bad, but I know that I can’t.”
“Write the following on a napkin and give it to a cute girl: “Smile if you want to have sex with me.” Watch her smile!”
“Do you come here often or wait till you get home?”
“The last woman I was with said, “Kiss me where it stinks.” So, I drove her to New Jersey.”
“Are those jeans Guess? Cause guess who wants to be inside them…”
“Hey there, I just took some Cialis and I have 18 hours left.”
“I’m good at math U+I=69.”
“First, I’d like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I’ll move up to your belly button.”
“If you were an elevator, what button would I have to push to get you to go down?”
“Are you from the Philippines? Because I wanna phil you with my penis.”
“Hold out two fingers and say: “Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?” [I don’t know.] “Cause they’re mine sweetheart.””
“That’s a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?”
“Yeah. I’m an asshole, but will that stop me from getting in yours?”
“Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let’s play gynecologist.”
“F*ck me if I’m wrong, but we have plans to have sex tonight.”
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Vulgar Pick Up lines
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